Why Now?

Ok, so why after all this time am I choosing to start writing a blog about this? About you? Because I think that it shows just a little more faith in your coming. In your arrival to this earth. Because I want to believe and have faith that you will become part of our family and not just another part in our story. That is why. That is why you need a space, just ours for right now, and maybe someday to be a part for others to know. Maybe this will just be your place. Where you will learn how much we wanted, waited and prayed for you. No less than we prayed for your brothers. So I can record how I felt when at 7 weeks we saw your strong heartbeat. Or how at 6 weeks we received the news that my HCG levels were over 10,000, for the first time ever (in four pregnancies).
So, at 9 weeks how are you doing? I am sick. Gratefully. Every day. Mostly in the morning, mid morning, afternoon and evening. (so basically all day). But I worry when I am not sick. I worry when I can't feel that I am pregnant. So, I am grateful for every bit of nausea. For everytime I have to leave then room when one of the boys eats a toasted onion bagel. I am sooo glad! I am glad everytime there is no blood, that I can feel my body stretching. That even though the light cramping (not even cramping, but more discomfort) is sending me into panic at least once a day, I am praying with all my might mind and strength that it is nothing more than just stretching. So, here's to not meeting you until at least Thanksgiving. Here is to my 12 week milestone, at my birthday. And viability, at our anniversary and finally delivery, please, please sometime after Thanksgiving! I pray so hard every day that you can survive and thrive and come into this world through me. Oh, how I pray and I know that so many others are praying the same way. Please grow baby, grow. And please hold on. Oh and please know how you are loved.